When I first got approached to write a fashion column and merge it with my recovery process, I was lost for words. I did not know how to make sense of my wardrobe, much less anyone else’s. I had never worked with Word Press or editing and fumbled a lot. I didn’t even know how to use Instagram. As a career nurse, fashion journalism was not on the agenda. Also, I didn’t have a model standing around to wear the clothes I wanted to display, and I wouldn’t have known how to photograph them even if I did. So, the process began with me banging on a keyboard and attempting to photograph myself.
Run-on sentences, bad selfies, crappy lighting, and a tad bit of humiliation were inevitable. Yet I kept going. The only way I know how to approach any challenge in my life is to come at it like I did addiction recovery: One day at a time while striving to learn from those who came before me. I’d love to wax on about how I became a beautiful writer with star-quality photos, but…. that is a work in progress.
All in all, I am staying sober; a year has passed since my first column dropped. My intent has always been to talk about the creative and beautiful becoming of self after sobriety, whether with fashion, style, or any other form of expression. It’s mostly about self-actualization. I can best explain it when I talk about the fashion industry because I have so much reverence for creativity in this world.
As for the clothes, well, they weren’t going to model themselves. So, I am learning that part too. Most of all, getting sober has taught me that rest of life’s challenges are nothing compared to saving your own life. So, I am eager to tackle new things with a zest for pushing the envelope—new things like learning social media, navigating the sober community online, and writing a fashion column.
In my cartoon it goes something like this: I am sober now what? Now my sober lovelies, we take on the fucking world.
Grace and Glam,
Kate
“Start before you are ready”
-Marie Forleo
You won’t ever feel 100% ready to do the thing. You will always have excuses or reasons why there is more prep work to do, supplies to buy, or improvements to make.
“Nobody Cares” – AA Sponsor
People aren’t looking at you; they are looking at themselves. People mostly worry about how they look, feel, speak, or act. They don’t zoom in on you. They zoom in on themselves.
“Done is Better than Good” – Elizabeth Gilbert
When it comes to creating something or putting your work out into the world, finish it and submit it. That’s half the battle. Most people have big ideas and then never finish anything. Just hit “send” and be grateful it’s done. Otherwise, you will critique yourself into a corner, and the project will never see the light of day.
“If you write you are a writer” – Kezia Calvert
My sober-writer-friend wasn’t the first or the last person to say this, but it hit me at the right time. Own that shit and keep going.
“Keep it Simple”- AA Sponsor
You don’t have to submit the column to Conde Nast or be a fashion expert. Just put your thoughts down on paper.
“Don’t take yourself too seriously”
– AA Sponsor
Seriously. Don’t. Last I checked, you were not God. You aren’t that powerful. Chill.
“Feedback is a gift unless the audience is in the cheap seats” – Brene Brown
Unless someone you know is in recovery and putting creative and meaningful work out into the world (AKA doing the hard shit), don’t worry about their feedback. Stick with the opinions of those in the arena with you duking it out.
“I’d rather be happy than right” – AA Sponsor
Social media is a beast. Arguing with naysayers about your work is a waste of time. Keep your side of the street clean and keep going.
“Create before you consume” – Chase Jarvis
Don’t spend endless hours looking at other people’s content or work before you put your original ideas on paper.
“Fear is boring” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Everyone is afraid of humiliation or failure. Literally everyone. That being said, we are all afraid of the same thing, and that’s boring as shit. There is nothing special or unique about fear. So, push past it. I don’t give a rip if someone calls me stupid; just not boring.
“Stay Curious” – Mom
You never know where this journey will take you. Be open to the possibilities.
“You will look back on all this and realize you didn’t know anything”
– AA Sponsor
Gawd, I hate that.
WALK YOUR TALK: Sober Fashionista Kate Vitela is our section of the site that celebrates fashion and the role it plays in our recovery. Getting ready for life can be just as fun if not more fun, now that we’re sober…because drunk never looks good.
Resources Are Available
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1 Comment
I would have never guessed you were a rookie! You write like you apprenticed at Vogue. I love you and I love your columns, Kate. Hope to see you again soon. Xo