The interior was spacious and welcoming at Daylight Studios in Hudson Yard on Saturday, 2/12/23. My mind flashed to Carrie Bradshaw the first time she entered her & Mr. Big’s massive New York high rise, “So this is where they keep the light.” I was a bit self-conscious because I did a rushed job shaving my legs that morning, assuming it would be a dimly lit studio space. #urbanjungle
The light was glorious yet masked no flaws. There were no shadows to hide in. The studio was a beautifully raw space with whitewashed walls that made me feel a tad vulnerable. I was caught off guard but in a good way. Alexandra Nyman was already setting up the studio hours before the eleven am model call time. She greeted me with a big hug when I came off the elevator. Nyman, the Break Free founder and creative director had a big job. As a designer, she was also showing her brand Lady Cat @iamladycat.
Per usual, Nyman kept things organized and smooth. The back of the house lacked the frenzy and noise of most runway shows I’ve been in. These days I am considered a seasoned model compared to last February’s debut at Break Free, and I have been on the runway several times and knew what to expect. Needless to say, with the number of models involved, I was prepared for organized chaos. To my pleasant surprise, we seemed to be free of that.
If the Manolo Fits…
One must credit Nyman’s calm demeanor yet recognize that this is not her first runway rodeo. She walked into the light filled space confidently with previous showcases behind her. I also approached this fall 2023 showcase with a different mindset. Having surveyed the NYFW landscape entirely, I was keenly aware that this was a unique event. The first and only showcase to solely focus on fund-raising and bringing awareness to mental health and addiction. Not just for the performative tagline #mentalhealthawareness, or the media-centered cheesy bylines. This was the real deal.
While the city scurried about with who’s who and who-what-wear, we were there for a different rally cry. How many other NYFW shows are sponsored by NAMI? That’s the acronym for the National Alliance for Mental Illness. Although now that I have had a good look inside the fashion world, the sponsorship seemed a bit tongue-in-cheek. (Like a train wreck sponsored by Budweiser.) But hey… if the Manolo fits.
Most people are keenly aware that the fashion industry, while full of brilliant creatives, comes fraught with substance abuse and mental health issues. I felt like this was Nyman’s way of saying, “let’s cut the shit, admit we need some help, and ‘break free’ of this.” It takes a lot of courage to showcase a fashion event centered around mental health and addiction. During NYFW, nonetheless. For those living under a rock, it’s the Super Bowl of fashion in the US. But Nyman isn’t messing around. She has seen too many struggles firsthand. Coupled with the fact that Nyman lives in New York as leaders showboat initiatives that only complement their political agenda. (Often causing more harm than good.)
It’s a breath of fresh air taking part in the Break Free showcase. As a fashion lover, model, and mental health nurse, I could not applaud Nyman more for making a night like that happen. And, if you have a sarcastic sense of humor as I do, you could’ve even picked up a Rehab Barbie sweater @rehabstudiosny on your way out as a souvenir.
Poetic Synergy
As for Nyman’s collection Lady Cat, she did not disappoint. Interestingly, numerous fashion commentators, this season mentioned the “poetic synergy” felt across all the runways in New York. Like the designers were somehow on the same page without any previous discussion. The ongoing “non-trend” this fall was witnessing the designers utilize the runway to give the viewers a look inside their personal history. Nyman’s “Marry Me Betty” collection was deeply personal, revealing her family’s generational trauma.
“My grandmother wanted to be a wedding dress designer but became an accountant because it was more acceptable for women then.” Nyman’s grandma Betty struggled with mental health issues after being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder One. A condition characterized by cyclic bouts of mania and depression that we know today are well controlled with mood stabilizers like Depakote or Lithium. Yet Betty came of age when harsh medical treatments like ECT (electronic shock therapy) were utilized due to a lack of understanding of the condition.
Most often, treatments like ECT induce further trauma and damage to a patient causing them to evade “care” together. So, Nyman staged an early nineteenth-century wedding on the runway, complete with pink vintage-style dresses made with sequins and mesh overlay. Models also wore looks reminiscent of housewives during that era. “Sprinkled with a little influence from the 1920s,” Nyman said. I wore a gorgeous red bias-cut satin dress that made me feel ready to go out for a night at Speak Easy.
Setting the Stage
Flowers were carried by the models emulating the wedding scene. Further demonstrating the “non-trends” displayed across the city, Nyman showcased real clothing that a vintage fashion lover would purchase and wear. There was no clickbait or nudity. (So overplayed these days) Paul Mitchell students did hair and makeup @paulmitchelltheschoolnyc, and it was flawless until it purposefully wasn’t. Some of Nyman’s looks included smudged lipstick and tear-stained eyeliner, demonstrative of a distressed housewife. Again, more storytelling through an optical lens.
The final look was model Libra Lalena @libralalena wearing a mint green dress covered by what appeared to be a straitjacket. It was a white frock with extra-long sleeves that one could envision being used as a mobility restraint on an unruly client. Lalena freed herself from the bondage of the straitjacket as model Daquan Studwood, @quanthebqmodel, trailed behind her in a lab coat.
He placed a wedding veil on her head after she was freed from the restraint garment. This act demonstrated the shift in mental health initiatives to more compassionate and trauma-informed care. As explained to me by Nyman, “This scene is a recreation of my mother’s earliest memory of her mother, (Her grandmother Betty) which caused her to fear seeking her own help later down the road.”
Mental illness often stems from a mix of heredity/genetics, environment, and past traumas, so this was Nyman’s way of showing that co-morbidities are often the catalyst to generations of pain. It was all a homage to the late Betty living with BP1 disorder and having her hopes and dreams stifled by the antiquated mental health treatment in the forties. Music by Hozier boomed and walked the runway, “Take me to church. I will worship at the shrine of your lies. I will tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife.” It was heartbreaking, redeeming, and entertaining all at the same.
Sharing the Spotlight
While most NYFW shows seemed to forget they vowed to be more inclusive, I am happy to report at Break Free; it’s not just lip service. This was and always is a showcase inclusive of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, race, gender, or ability. Model Janira Obregon @janiralisbeth whizzed down the runway in her wheelchair. Sober influencer Kim Bellas @sober.is.the.new.cool walked the runway for the first time, leaving a trail of flower petals from her monogrammed tote. Breast cancer survivor and advocate Christine Handy @christinehandy1 was also there to strut her stuff. Author and podcaster Tawny Lara @tawnymlara and expert speaker and trauma counselor Christy primmer @christy_primmer were among the other brilliant cast of talent.
I did not get knocked over by other models for the spotlight. I was not excluded from selfies. It wasn’t a Darwinian fashion experience of survival of the fittest. There was no cool kid’s table. We were all in it together. It was an authentic community-building experience. And ironically, despite the welcome wagon backstage, I was more star-struck than ever. The talent, grit, and real-life heroes in one room were humbling. The resumes and accomplishments of this group were unrivaled. Full stop. We were a force to be reckoned with.
Welcome to the Afterparty
Overall, the Break Free event was the push towards a bigger conversation. Mocktails were flowing, and people were embracing and supporting one another. Networking was happening yet seemingly more so to empower than to compete or compare.
There is a vibe when you walk into a Break Free show that says, “It’s ok, come inside. You’re welcome here”. Imagine an NYFW after-party where you are greeted with bear hugs, and nobody is there to judge your outfit. Seriously. To that end, I sometimes feel like Nyman should close fashion week in the city. Sorry Luar, with all due respect.
Fashion week is often mentally more taxing than physically. (And I am talking about the spectators because, let’s face it… most ordinary folks don’t get keys to the kingdom backstage.) The networking, the wardrobe planning, the social media, the FOMO, and the mental gymnastics to see and be seen. Although blissful, it’s still performative and exhausting, even for the most devout fashion lovers. News Flash: As a model or a designer, it’s even worse. (And that is before the reviews and photos bombard the internet)
The City Streets
The day after the show Nyman and I walked the streets of NYC for hours catching up. We discussed everything from last fall’s showcase improvements to life as a designer and change-maker in the city. (In truth, it’s a long road when launching a start-up) We riffed on the entrepreneurial spirit and that restless feeling of wanting so badly to make our voices heard.
The recurring question was, “How do we get other fashion creatives to notice that we are screaming mental health advocacy from the rooftops?” Where was the press on this in a city fraught with unhoused and substance-addicted persons? Where is the support going to come from? How do we raise funds to improve the showcase and dump money into the scholarship funds for persons needing care?
I think the fashion story is super important and I want to see a puffy ill-fitting cartoon-ish boot. I am here for the “Street Unicorns,” couture, and everything in between. But when I step over human excrement on the sidewalk and see a person passed out drunk up against a building, I can’t help but feel that pang of reality that I try so desperately to escape. There it is, haunting me again. At five years sober, I still vividly remember the horror of active addiction and my untreated mental health issues. So, I am compelled to return to the scene of the crime and help other victims break free.
With another show behind us, our feet are tired and blistered, but we keep walking…
Grace & Glam,
Kate
WALK YOUR TALK: Sober Fashionista Kate Vitela brings you our of the site that celebrates fashion and the role it plays in our recovery. Getting ready for life can be just as fun if not more fun, now that we’re sober…because drunk never looks good.
#becausedrunkneverlooksgood
Be sure to check out Kate’s latest adventures on the runway, behind the scenes, down the catwalk, and everywhere in-between over at www.katevitela.com
A Disco Ball is Hundreds of Pieces of Broken Glass, Put Together to Make a Magical Ball of Light. You are NOT Broken, Friend. You are a DISCO BALL!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
