Today we are shining a Sober Spotlight on Kelly Belew, Founder of the East Coast Sober Squad. This single mama is a sober force to be reckoned with. Her daily inspirations on Instagram pack a powerful sober punch. If you’re not already following her on the ‘Gram, you should be. Personally, I look forward to @kelz_is_sober posts on the daily.
Sober Spotlight: East Coast Sober Squad
The East Coast Sober Squad was founded by a woman who lived half of her life in a vicious cycle of binge drinking. She created this space to give other women who struggle with addiction to alcohol, or who are simply questioning their relationship with alcohol, a place to connect about sober life. Alcohol related issues impact women differently and this space allows room to discuss anything at all. Chats can be about anything crossing your mind, however, they do offer topic meetings bi-monthly regarding alcohol-related topics.
When we make the decision to quit or question drinking, it can be a lonely place. Sadly, we live in an alcohol-centric society. The East Coast Sober Squad is not here to preach prohibition. Their mission is to allow women to be mindful of and discuss issues surrounding alcohol abuse/problematic usage and the problems that it can create in our lives and well-being. Sober friendships are the most authentic friendships. This group has been where you’ve been. Come find yourself and get to know others who are making the choice to find and love themselves fully, without alcohol.
Sober Spotlight: Kelly Belew aka @kelz_is_sober
Earlier this year, I was able to sit down with Kelly via Zoom and get to know more about the woman behind the oh so passionate and pastel colored Instagram page. One of my favorite things about Zoom is peeking into the homes of others. Specifically the home decor. Kelly’s backdrop did not disappoint.
Kelly’s sobriety date is July 28th, 2019. She shared her story with me that was similar to my own. Not a daily drinker, Kelly held down a good job and showed up when and where she was supposed to. A binge drinker, Kelly admits that she did not always show up like the best version of herself. She was going through the motions, some people had caught on to her game of smoke and mirrors. However, she did have some people fooled. Sound familiar? It sure did to me.
Broken Promises
Kelly talked to me about feeling crappy all of the time and how hard some days were being present with her daughter, who is now 7 years old. She made so many promises to herself that she would stop. That she wasn’t going to party anymore. She broke these promises to herself over and over (and over and over.) Kelly had lost herself and was starting to have consequences (aka legal issues). Things you would think would be reasons to stop might stop her for awhile, but it just never stuck.
She could feel herself getting worse. The will power to stop slipping through her fingers as the binging progressed. Drinking had long stopped being fun and was now automatic. Kelly was so sick of only living half way into her potential. She found herself pushing away from the good people in her life, because she didn’t want them to see who she was becoming.
Everything started to snowball
Kelly may have looked the part, but she felt very much alone, depressed, and isolated. With basically no network around her, her “inner circle” was made up of fair weathered bar friendships. Overweight and desperate to be close to her daughter, Kelly had enough.
4 Years prior to quitting, Kelly went to an addiction and substance abuse counselor. She admitted to not taking it very seriously at that time. At the end of her rope in the early summer of 2019, Kelly contacted that therapist again, who recommended she check out Alcoholics Anonymous. She found a women’s group that she really did enjoy. Kelly got a sponsor and worked up to the 4th step. Then Covid hit and her sponsor went MIA.
Kelly admitted that she really struggles with the concept of being powerless. Forced into lockdown due to the global pandemic, she took a step backward to discover who she really is and what she really wants out of life. She started reading. “Quit Like a Woman” by Holly Whitaker was the first book that she felt she could really identify with.
Making Her Own Way
Kelly started forging her own path by focusing on working out and practicing consistent self-care. She found the Sober Grid App and it really helped her out in the beginning. Without alcohol in her life, she was feeling better. Kelly felt empowered to create the life she really wants. Re-learning who she was at the core of her being allowed her to see how good things could be. No hangers are amazing. She admits that, yes, there were bumps. Her marriage completely declined. They are friends now but separated and he’s been very supportive. It sucks and it’s sad, but you change a lot and I’m someone different now. I had to do what was needed to flourish.
Sober Curator Pro Tip: Sobriety – there’s an app for that!
Newly sober and looking for resources? Guess what? There’s an app for that! Here are 9 apps that we think are worth the time and investment. This post from Summer 2020 includes Sober Grid and 8 other apps worth checking out.
Saturday Host @1000HoursDryBabes
In September of 2020, Kelly moved into her own house and enjoys having her daughter 50% of the time. After building up a sober community around her on Instagram, she answered the call to action from the 1000 Hours Dry Group for an opportunity to host. Regardless of what your path is to sobriety, service truly is the backbone of recovery. Kelly talked about what a great way this is to meet people and fill her time in a meaningful way.
After reaching a year of sobriety, she jumped into the land of the sober Instagram community headfirst and taught herself how to use Canva. Talking comes very naturally to Kelly and she learns best by doing. She found the online sober community very therapeutic, although admits that being vulnerable was not her jam at first. Owning and sharing her feelings was so new and doing so publicly took an entirely new level of courage. But she dug down deep and figured it out.
Kelly on Accountability
Sober Instagram provided Kelly with the accountability she needed. She started making her own page about sobriety @kelz_is_sober. How did she do it? She simply started created something she would have wanted to find when she was newly sober. Her goal? She does it without expectations and if she helps even one person, than that is a huge win. Sharing allows her to heal. As someone who has followed Kelly for many months now, I can tell you she helps me continue to heal as well with her positivity and authenticity.
Everyone’s journeys are different, but there are also a ton of similarities. She recommends focusing on the similarities. Kelly knows she can’t drink but the label of alcoholic just doesn’t work for her. Alcohol doesn’t really benefit anyone’s health. Her advice? Make your comeback greater than your set backs.
Q & A with Kelly:
Favorite NA Beverage:
Curious Elixirs and Gruvi Bubbly Rosé
#Quitlit Favs:
“We are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen. I felt like I could have written this book it was so relatable and it really felt like me. All of the shame, think I’m worse, and then realizing that we all have our stuff and we are all evolving. Let the stigma go. Let go of the guilt. Move forward.
Sobriety in the WorkPlace:
I work from home and let me tell you my productivity has been greatly improved with my sobriety. I’m a better employee. But also in general, my friendships are deeper and I even discovered that one of my co-workers was also sober. How cool is that?
Me Party:
I love to chalk paint furniture. (At this point in our zoom conversation, I insisted she points out each piece in the room she was in that I had been secretly eyeing our entire conversation.) I love to find old pieces at the Goodwill and Thrift Shops. The best part about chalkboard paint is no sanding and that is it very forgiving. Thrown on a couple of coats and viola! You are done! I love to listen to podcasts while I’m painting and I’m all about a quick result project.
Working out is also very important to me and I work hard to maintain consistency in this area. Plus, it makes me feel good. Before I stopped drinking I had high blood pressure and now I don’t even have to take medication for it anymore. Also, I love to read and journal in the morning. Gratitude lists are my jam.
Tips on Going Public With Sobriety:
I was so afraid people were going to think differently of me. I know I’m not alone in this feeling. But the people that care about you and who really should hold weight with you are going to be happy for you and not judge you. If they do judge you, they aren’t your people. Let them go. So many people have a hard time being vulnerable. It is scary, but it’s also a strength. You just never know who you might be helping when you share pieces of your story. As humans, we emote. That is what we are supposed to do. Locking things inside stifles us. Don’t let fear hold you back from the potential of what you can be.
Piece of Advice:
You are not crazy. My marriage was in such a funky place. It was such an emotional rollercoaster. I was so used to grabbing drinks mindlessly when things were hard. Punching walls in the basement was I way I would attempt to process my drunken feelings. It all just felt so unbearable. Sharing and writing out feelings really, really helps. Just hang in there.
Meditation practice?
I love the InsightTimer App. You can find a meditation for anything on there at various lengths of time.
Favorite Nonprofit?
The Jefferson Area Board for Aging This is an amazing resource for seniors and shut-ins. I take my daughter with me and we make pictures and artwork with the seniors, along with reading to them aloud. At the time of this interview, they were reading the Secret Garden. The Trevor Project is one I am also very passionate about. In the last year, it has become clear we are in the midst of a mental health crisis. Researching all of the stats around suicide rates is overwhelming. The work they do is so important.
Sober Curator Pro Tip:
Looking for ways to get involved? We’ve got you covered! Check out this curated list in our PAY IT FORWARD section of regional and national nonprofits with an emphasis on recovery and mental health.
Happy Every Hour: Tonix Mocktails brings you a DIY zero-proof recipe to make at home called “The Wednesday”, inspired by Christina Ricci in the Addams Family, Circa 1991
Sober Pop Culture Lightening Round with Kelly
Guilty Pleasure:
Chocolate! I love Lindt Chocolates. I also love to binge-watch old episodes of America’s Next Top Model
Fav Pop Culture Red Carpet Moment:
JLo. Green Dress. Hands Down.
Play It Again! What Jams Do You Have on Repeat?
old-school rap, Taylor Swift, Melanie Martinez, Ice Cube, pretty much I like anything…well maybe no to blue grass. My Karaoke go-to is “It’s Takes Two”
The Sober Spotlight section of our site highlights extraordinary people in recovery. Sober small business owners doin’ their thing gives us all the feels. We also spotlight brands that cater to sober living and give back to recovery. Who is making a difference in your recovery community? If you know someone we should spotlight please connect with us. You can reach us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social.
Resources are available
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.