Finding Strength When Life Falls Apart
I had no intention of naming this podcast episode Resilience: Embracing the Suck, but my husband’s old military term kept popping into my head when I was recording. Because when it comes to building resilience — whether in recovery or just life in general — sometimes you really do have to embrace the suck. And if you know me, you know I don’t sugarcoat things.
I recorded this episode after receiving the news that I was losing my job. Because sometimes life throws you a curveball, and all you can do is figure out how to catch it (or at least not let it knock you out cold). I’ve been through rock bottom before, and while I wouldn’t recommend it as a vacation spot, it did teach me a thing or two about resilience. Recovery showed me that resilience isn’t about pretending things are fine — it’s about facing challenges with honesty, humor, and a support system that doesn’t let you fall apart alone.
Losing my job wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, not by a long shot. But it did bring up familiar feelings: fear, uncertainty, that urge to control what I can’t. The old me would have numbed out, looked for an escape hatch or made a dramatic decision just to feel like I had some control. But now, I know better. I know that sitting in discomfort, as awful as it is, is what actually builds strength.
I’ve learned that humor helps. Not in a toxic positivity way, but more in the “if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry in the Goodwill parking lot” kind of way. I’ve learned that connection is everything. That my people will remind me who I am when I start to forget. That letting myself feel the hard emotions, instead of bypassing them, is the only way through.
What I’ve Learned About Resilience:
- Lessons from Rock Bottom: The perspective that comes from having to rebuild — again and again.
- The Role of Humor: How laughter keeps me from losing my mind. (Insert buying an overstuffed cheetah and feeling oddly comforted by my own silliness — you have to listen to the episode to get it.)
- Adaptability & Community: Why resilience isn’t a solo project.
- The Strength of Sisterhood: Because strong women holding each other up is everything.
- Feeling Emotions Fully: Sitting with the discomfort instead of slapping a motivational quote on it.
- – “Embracing the Suck”: Finding meaning in the messy moments, whether I like it or not.
If you’re in the middle of something hard, I see you. I won’t throw clichés at you because, honestly, those usually just make me more annoyed. But I will say this — you’re not alone, and you’re stronger than whatever storm you’re facing. Resilience isn’t about having it all figured out; it’s about getting up and showing up, even when you’d rather hide under a weighted blanket. And if you’re up for it, maybe this episode will be the reminder you need today.
Peace within, bull shit out,
Kate (and her stuffed cheetah, Valentina)
You’ve Been Selected – Spotify
You’ve Been Selected – Apple Podcasts
YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED: Kate Vitela has been an RN in the Pacific Northwest for over two decades. She has been sober since 2018. You’ve Been Selected is a column that describes her journey through sobriety coaching, addiction, eating disorders, and what is now known as Drunkorexia. The title comes from years of mandatory drug testing Kate endured after nearly ruining her nursing career due to alcohol. Kate recalls seeing these words appear on her phone each day she was chosen to randomly drug test to prove her sobriety to the nursing board.
