In the latest episode of The Sober Curator, Kate Vitela sits down with Todd Kinney, an attorney, father of four, husband, and author of the inspiring book “I Didn’t Believe It Either.” The episode offers listeners a deep dive into Kinney’s personal journey to sobriety, his challenges with drinking, and the unexpected joys he discovered in an alcohol-free life.
Todd Kinney’s decision to quit drinking didn’t come overnight. It was a gradual realization, bolstered by therapy, which led him to mark the significant transition between three to six months of sobriety. Initially, Kinney had reservations about joining a support group; however, during the Covid pandemic, he found a virtual haven in the Luckiest Club—an online congregation of over 200 members with stories echoing his own. Here, without a formal program like AA, he found the community support crucial to his new path.
Todd’s bravery in sharing his experience with sobriety was met with a humbling response from others who related to his saga, a testament to the pervasive challenge of alcoholism that many face in silence. He discusses the particular stigma for men, addressing the pressure to conform to archetypical male behaviors that often involve drinking. In abandoning alcohol, Todd felt as though he was giving up part of his manhood, a barrier he hopes to dismantle through his writing, encouraging more open discussion among men.
One of the most profound revelations from the interview was the unexpected benefits Todd found in a life devoid of alcohol. Relationships with his children flourished, a newfound serenity seeped into his daily life, and personal connections deepened. Alcohol, which had once loomed large over his existence, left behind space for more genuine experiences and engagements. In essence, Kinney discovered that the fear of missing out reveled in by alcohol’s allure was indeed, nothing more than a mirage.
During the conversation, Kate Vitela brought in her own experiences, sharing a night of revelry at a house party she enjoyed while sober, further highlighting the unanticipated contentment sobriety can offer. Her insights into this transformed happiness setpoint melded seamlessly with Kinney’s own.
From tailgating to attending weddings, Todd Kinney now finds greater pleasure in these social scenarios without the haze of alcohol. He candidly shared his journey of writing the book “I Didn’t Believe It Either,” beginning a year after he stopped drinking and taking around two and a half years to complete. Resonant in the title itself is Kinney’s initial skepticism about life sans alcohol and the surpassing fulfillment he discovered within it.
Listeners will learn that their resistance to missing out may dissolve into a gratitude for the peace and tranquility that sobriety can grant. As Todd Kinney’s example illustrates, relinquishing alcohol can unravel into a richer, more mindful participation in life’s tapestry—a narrative The Sober Curator is passionate about sharing.
The episode concludes with a conversation about the book’s availability and the possibility of an audiobook in the future—a prospect Todd Kinney finds appealing. Kate Vitela wraps up the interview with heartfelt thanks, ensuring listeners that Todd’s contact information and further details will be available in the show notes.
Todd Kinney’s message is one of hope and encouragement. His story offers strength to those who may be on the fence about their relationship with alcohol, and his book serves as a beacon of possibility. “I Didn’t Believe It Either” is more than a title; it’s a statement of the beautiful reality awaiting beyond the veil of alcohol dependence. In this episode of The Sober Curator, listeners will find not only Todd Kinney’s compelling narrative but also a wealth of resources and shared experiences that underscore the mission of the podcast: to illuminate the path to sobriety and the richness of life that awaits on the other side of addiction.
Sober Spotlight Interview with Kate Vitela: Todd Kinney, Author of “I Didn’t Believe It Either”
Timestamped Overview:
- 00:00 Person reflects on recovery from alcoholism, considers writing memoir.
- 05:32 Initially hesitant about quitting drinking, now finds sobriety to be fulfilling.
- 07:29 Realizing benefits of quitting drinking from others’ experience.
- 12:08 Attended supportive meetings, found help & friends.
- 15:06 Nervous but glad to share story on social media, connected with others.
- 19:15 Alcohol-free life enhances genuine connections over drinking.
- 22:31 Realizing alcohol’s impact, breaks helped before quitting.
- 26:51 Reflection and sobriety improved parenting and reduced conflict.
- 29:15 The speaker talks about a fun, sober house party with TLC members in Seattle and how life has changed.
- 31:28 Enjoyed alcohol-free night of fun with friends at a wedding; finding joy in old activities.
- 35:34 Getting advice on book writing, considering audiobook.
About Todd Kinney
Todd is an attorney who lives in Omaha, NE with his wife, four kids and two wiener dogs. In his free time, he enjoys traveling, golf, hanging out with his family (when they let him) and spending an unhealthy amount of time and money supporting the Iowa Hawkeyes. He quit drinking in 2019 and considers it the best thing he’s ever done for himself or his family.
“I Didn’t Believe It Either” by Todd Kinney Synopsis
Todd was a classic gray area drinker who looked like he had it all together on the outside. But on the inside, he was tormented by his relationship with alcohol. He loved drinking and being the life of the party, yet there was so much about drinking he didn’t like: the control it had on him, how it consumed his every thought and how he felt after drinking too much.
He spent six years evaluating his relationship with alcohol and employing every moderation hack in the book. Some of them worked, but it was exhausting and the victories were always short lived.
By 2019, Todd was growing tired of fighting his internal battle. He was worn down by the constant negotiating and obsessing, and he was sick of the torment, shame and regret. Then in the fall of that year, his wife whispered something into his ear that would end up changing his life forever. He decided to quit drinking.
Giving up alcohol was scary and overwhelming. Even though Todd knew it was the right decision, he also thought life without alcohol would be a little dull and boring, a bit like a prison sentence for not being able to “drink like a normal person.”
What he discovered, however, was that giving it up was the farthest thing from a prison sentence. “I Didn’t Believe it Either” is the raw, honest, vulnerable and sometimes funny story of Todd’s journey to quitting the one thing he thought he couldn’t live without and his discovery that sobriety is better than he ever imagined.
Where to find Todd Kinny:
- Website: Todd Kinney | I Didn’t Believe It Either | Road to Sobriety
- Instagram @tkinney111
SOBER SPOTLIGHT: This section of our site highlights extraordinary people in recovery. Starting in 2024, we will be revitalizing this section with more regular interviews hosted by Sober Curator Kate Vitela.
Who is making a difference in your recovery community? If you know someone, we should spotlight please connect with us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social media.
Looking for memoir and book recommendations that support your sober lifestyle? #QUITLIT is our curated list of addiction and recovery book reviews. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.