The Sober Curator

The Daily Llama’s Weekly Word of the Day and Meditations

The Daily Llama, by Staci DesRault, brings you short, one-word meditations and a corresponding quote plus a reflection for your complete wool-being (#seewhatwedidthere?) for Monday, August 28th – Friday, September 1st, 2023.

MONDAY, AUGUST 28th

WORD OF THE DAY: GRIEVE

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

At any given time, we are probably in some stage of grief: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, Reconstruction, Acceptance, and Hope. Loss is both universal and inevitable, and it’s also deeply personal, and no two grievers mourn in the same way. Similarly, the way we mourn may also differ depending on the nature of the loss or where we are in our development.

Grief is not a linear process with a clear goal at the end. It is simultaneously a sudden and a slow transformation of who we are.


TUESDAY, AUGUST 29th

WORD OF THE DAILY: LAMENT

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

We do not facilitate our grieving alone, and mourning requires others to witness our pain. When part of a community, we practice holding a non-judgmental and compassionate space for those who grieve. We also practice allowing others to see the vulnerable, messy, crying-snot-faced, scary parts of us. By grieving what once was and is no longer, we start the birthing process of what is to come.

Nothing about rebirth is tidy or quiet or calm.


WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30th

WORD OF THE DAYSTRATEGIZE

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

We may often confuse our core needs with the strategies we use to get those needs met. The need for connection, for instance, is one of our deepest core needs. There exist a myriad of ways that we can get this need met. Yet sometimes, we get so attached to only one or two forms of satisfying our need for connection that we become inflexible and closed to other opportunities. We may insist that only certain people, relationships, activities, or situations can meet our needs, holding on tightly to a strategy that is either not currently available or no longer works for us. Thus, we suffer from having our needs go unmet much longer than necessary.

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), tells us to hold onto our needs tightly but our strategies loosely. This allows us to remain open to what is alive inside us, spontaneous to what the universe brings us, and flexible in our capability for self-love and compassion.


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THURSDAY, AUGUST 31st

WORD OF THE DAY: EXONERATE 

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

Forgiveness is like sex: it only feels good when one willingly consents and participates. If we try to force forgiveness before it’s time, it just doesn’t quite work. We may get a little cranky without it for too long. We also don’t necessarily need others to participate in reaping its benefits because we can do it ourselves if the situation calls for it. (It can also happen in a group setting, though some may find it uncomfortable and awkward, while others strangely exhilarating.) Unlike sex, however, forgiveness’s benefits are more powerful and last much longer.

Sometimes forgiveness is about repairing a relationship between two people and making that relationship stronger. But forgiveness is also about freeing ourselves from the burden of carrying around the pain. When we forgive those who have hurt us, we don’t return to the person we were before the injury. It also does not mean we return to being in a relationship with them (especially if they are unchanged). It simply means we release the hate and anger that keeps us stuck in the past.

We do not exonerate the perpetrators of our pain. We exonerate ourselves from being chained to them.


FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1st

WORD OF THE DAY: REPOSE

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

In engineering and mechanics, the term “angle of repose” essentially describes the maximum angle a material, like sand, rocks, or dirt, can be piled before it risks sliding down or collapsing. The angle of repose, for instance, is most frequently calculated to assess the risk of avalanches in mountainous regions. In short, the angle of repose lets us know at what point things will start to fall to shit if pushed beyond their limits.

Recovery is about learning our limits. Finding the perfect balance between working and resting, having fun and being serious, focusing on ourselves first, and serving others can be challenging. It can be hard to figure out when we need to speak up and when we need to shut up (although the universe often places a volunteer nearby to let us know when that is).

We need to hold onto some form of balance—to have peace amid activity and alertness in the face of calm. We need to find our internal angle of repose. And sometimes things fall to shit a few times before we figure that out.


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Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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