The Sober Curator

The Daily Llama’s Weekly Word of the Day and Meditations

The Daily Llama, by Staci DesRault, brings you short, one-word meditations and a corresponding quote plus a reflection for your complete wool-being (#seewhatwedidthere?) for Monday, August 21st – Friday, August 25th, 2023.

MONDAY, AUGUST 21st

WORD OF THE DAY: AUTONOMOUS

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

In the article “The Autonomous Mind: The Right to Freedom of Thought in the 21st Century,” Simon McCarthy-Jones stipulates, “To lose sovereignty over our minds is to lose our dignity, our democracy, and our very selves.” (See link for full article below.) In other words, it is crucial for both personal and societal well-being that mental autonomy is safeguarded.

The author goes on to define these rights to be the following:

Our ability to think clearly and critically is now (perhaps more than ever before in history) fundamentally crucial to our full personhood, let alone to the survival of a free society.

Our recovery reinforces our agency by clearing out the cobwebs that cloud our judgment. Being sober makes it more possible for us to respond to people, situations, and information with thoughtfulness rather than react out of impulsivity or highly charged emotions, which tend to keep us in an endless cycle of powerlessness.  When caught up in our addictions, we lose, and we sovereignty over our minds. We lose our dignity. We lose ourselves.

The Autonomous Mind: The Right to Freedom of Thought in the Twenty-First Century


TUESDAY, AUGUST 22nd

WORD OF THE DAILY: RECOMMEND

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

The things we choose to do daily—the small, repetitive behaviors—have the most impact on our lives. Our daily habits function like the constant drip of water or gust of wind that eventually smooths and shapes the rock. While the rock appears to be a powerful, stubborn, and strong-willed foe, the consistent perseverance of water and wind overpowers the rock and determines its shape.

Addiction may be a strong-willed foe. But we have power over it in our daily habits.


WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23rd

WORD OF THE DAYUPHOLD

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

In general, most people would agree that keeping promises is a good thing and breaking promises is a bad thing. Those on the receiving end of a promise hold this viewpoint most often and ardently. There could be several reasons we break promises unintentionally, such as when we have good intentions, but the unexpected gets in our way of following through. We may also overpromise out of a wish to be the “best version” of ourselves. For instance, we would love to be the person who gets up at 6 a.m. to run, but we’re not that person. Perhaps we have trouble saying “no” and then end up passive-aggressively canceling at the last minute.

In recovery, we work on being honest and following through on what we say we will do. We work on self-acceptance, so we don’t make promises from an idealized place. We work on boundaries and self-respect, so we get better at saying no clearly and directly the first time.

However, there are some times when we may need to renegotiate a promise. The most important reason would be if following through on that promise would jeopardize our recovery. Following closely behind it, if our promise was made in the context of someone else deceiving us or not giving us all the information needed to make a clear, informed choice.

It is important in general to keep promises. But don’t let those promises break you.


THURSDAY, AUGUST 24th

WORD OF THE DAY: JUSTIFY

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

When faced with an unpleasant feeling (a.k.a. guilt/shame), event, action, or thought, it is natural for one of our defense mechanisms to kick in: denial, projection, displacement, and so forth. One of the many defense mechanisms we may employ is justification, which is the attempt to provide an acceptable reason or excuse for an action or behavior generally known to be wrong or unacceptable.

We may, for instance, try to justify our yelling or cursing by pointing out that someone else started the fight or try to excuse our misbehavior because “everybody else is doing it.” Justification allows us to return to a place of emotional comfort because it lets us off the hook from confronting our undesirable behavior.  

The goal is to improve at observing when we are justifying our behavior, investigate why this defense mechanism was activated, learn from it, and seek change.

The goal is not to judge ourselves for having a defense system. Our brain’s primary purpose is to keep us safe. While our defense mechanisms can often get in the way of making progress in our recovery, and we need to learn how to deactivate them to grow, our defenses are necessary for our survival. We can practice gratitude for all the ways our brain seeks to protect us.


FRIDAY, AUGUST 25th

WORD OF THE DAY: ADVANCE 

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

MEDITATE ON THIS:

We cannot advance in our growth without the support of personal relationships. The need for human connection is fundamental to our well-being. We can only live for about 3 minutes (on average) without access to air and about three days without water. With access to water, a human can survive without food anywhere from 8 days to 2 months, depending on the variables. Without sleep, the average person would be unable to function after several days, and total body shutdown could occur after ten days.

While the impact of isolation may vary considerably, various studies show that complete isolation from other people begins to have mild adverse effects on a person’s mental health within 3-10 days and more moderately adverse effects around 20 days or more. A lack of human touch can lead to failure to thrive in young infants. Likewise, those imprisoned in solitary confinement or held captive in isolation typically experience long-term negative impacts on their mental and emotional health. Chronic social isolation leads to poor sleep quality, depression, impaired executive function, cognitive decline, and impaired immunity, research shows.

In short, we really do need each other to thrive optimally.

Of course, the quality of those relationships matters. Despite all the adverse outcomes that social isolation can bring, living in constant conflict or toxic relationships has even worse consequences for our physical and mental health. So, being alone is better than remaining in a conflicted, harmful, or abusive relationship. But nurturing healthy and loving relationships is essential for the best overall health.

See the research HERE


Resources are available

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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