The Daily Llama brings you the word of the day, short meditations for your complete wool-being (#seewhatwedidthere?) for Monday, December 7th through Friday, December 11th.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 7th
WORD OF THE DAY: VERSATILITY
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Meditate on this:
Having versatility implies that we are able toturn with ease from one thing to another, or rather we are able to change readily. One of the most basic things that can keep us stuck in a rut is our own adamant refusal to change. There is a saying in the rooms: “If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.” Our ability to be versatile is an important skill we must develop if we desire to be resilient to whatever life throws at us.
Additionally, there is a delicate balance between allowing others to help us AND increasing our ability to be self-reliant. Good recovery asks us to be authentically vulnerable with people who have our best interests at heart, and to not do recovery alone. But good recovery also asks us to grow up and stop expecting other people to be responsible for our happiness and well-being.
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8th
WORD OF THE DAY: TENDERNESS
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Meditate on this:
Whenever we’ve been hurt, our instinct is to withdraw and close up shop. We engage in all of our defenses to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. Self-protection is a natural, necessary and often involuntary instinct. We do not have to shame ourselves or others for the desire to keep ourselves from getting hurt. But we know that staying closed-hearted with all of our defenses up does not facilitate good health or good relationships.
So how do we get this stubborn heart of ours to dare open again? As Melody Beattie writes, we cannot blast a heart open with chastising, judgment, shame or ridicule. We must coax and nurture. This goes first for ourselves, and then for others. In the words of Otis Redding, we must first try a little tenderness.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9th
WORD OF THE DAY: PROACTIVE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Meditate on this:
There are times when doing nothing is the most appropriate response to a situation. We either “first, do no harm” or we learn to “wait and see.” These are situations that are beyond our control to change or affect. But much of the time the problems we face require us to be proactive if we are going to help solve them. These are the problems or situations we can change through our own power, or with help from others or our Higher Power.
To keep our recovery, we have to be proactive about our recovery. Nobody else is going to do the dirty work of getting sober for us. There may be plenty of people who played a role in the wounds and damage we carry around in our hearts that we tried to cover up with drinking, eating, drugs, sex or gambling.
But at the end of the day, we are the ones carrying it around. And we are the ones who have to learn how to set it all down and stop carrying it. We do not become well again by wishing alone. As Stephen King wrote, “ Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first.”
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10th
WORD OF THE DAY: LOVING-KINDNESS
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Meditate on this:
One reason many of us may have trouble learning how to let go of our resentments, our pain, our unrealistic expectations and/or our way of doing things (a.k.a. “our will” in 12 Step speak) is because we have defined letting go with the word “surrender.” We equate surrendering with losing a battle or becoming a prisoner of war. And nobody likes to lose. Especially if we feel we have already lost so much.
So, when we hear that the answer to the insanity of our addiction is to surrender, we resist it because psychologically we cannot stand to lose anymore. So we keep fighting and defending in an endless cycle of shame, trying to hold onto the last castle of our egos.
We cannot shame, ridicule or berate ourselves into emotional wellness and healthy thinking. It just does not work that way. The only way out of the cycle of shame is to practice loving-kindness and compassion toward ourselves and others.
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11th
WORD OF THE DAY: JUBILANT
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Meditate on this:
Joy and sorrow are connected. You cannot experience one without experiencing the other. They are opposite sides of the same coin. Take away the pain, and you will inevitably take away the ability to feel joy. Those of us who know what it is like to live in a numbed state know from our experiences that happiness was elusive to us during that time. Maybe we stopped feeling so much pain, but we also did not feel happy. All emotions were muted.
Then there are some of us who lived on a constant rollercoaster between the two extremes: everything was ecstatic or everything was horrible, rarely in between. For us, figuring out how to live in the emotional middle ground eluded us. We lacked grounding.
Either way, the solution involves accepting that joy and sorrow are connected and intertwined. We cannot have one without the other. Here is our hope: the greater our pain, the greater our jubilance.
Resources are available if and when you need them
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
