I heard the hype on The Bear long before I tuned in. I think this was because of the strong association with Shameless, which I did not care for. The few episodes I watched felt hopeless and hit way too close to home when considering how lousy alcoholism can be. I could be completely off base, but what I saw of Shameless was disturbing and triggering, and I never went back for more. I was hesitant to dive into what could be another way-too-sad, sorry look at untreated addiction in action. I’m happy to say The Bear is nothing like that. It is a refreshing opposite of that.
The Bear drew me in for a few different reasons. Like many people in recovery, I spent many drinking days working in the restaurant industry. Quick cash and mostly free booze. It just made sense for people like me. Until it didn’t, but this is another story for never. My years spent working in bars and restaurants made The Bear’s storyline especially intriguing. The Bear is similar to the movie Burnt with Bradley Cooper. Gritty, Authentic, and loosely based on Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. Anything associated with Anthony Bourdain is already a hit with me and definitively worth trying. I’m glad I gave The Bear a chance.
Warning: SPOILER ALERT! This review is full of spoilers. Stop reading now if you do not want to know what goes down on The Bear. If I am losing you now, know that The Bear is worth the watch.
The basic plot is a classic story of a family trying to make it in the super competitive and always challenging restaurant industry. This could be set in any town USA. What makes it unique is that Carmy, the main character played by Jeremy Allen White, was working as a chef for one of the best restaurants in the world when his brother, an addict who was running the family restaurant, suddenly committed suicide. The show focuses on addiction from the perspective of the friends and family of the addict, who are left behind to pick up the pieces.
The suicide of a family member is heartbreaking and can be a compelling and impactful story. The intense focus on the extra layers of emotion that surface throughout the season adds depth we don’t often see. Carmy leaves his prestigious chef position and returns home. He becomes hellbent on picking up where his brother left off. Despite all the challenges, Carmy is dedicated to making The Beef, his family restaurant, a success. Carmy spent his adult life trying to prove to his family that he could succeed in the industry. He reached the pinnacle of success in his profession but still did not feel the approval of his family. Many family members of addicts express similar feelings of neglect, irrelevance, disdain, or worse, indifference.
“The Thing” is Al-Anon
I enjoyed the detailed look at how Carmy navigates the death of his brother and the relationships with his family and new employees. The show sits in it instead of moving on to the happy days too quickly. This is a more realistic portrayal of life. Carmy tries to suppress his emotions by focusing solely on keeping The Beef running. His sister, Sugar, is Carmy’s antagonist. She always wants to talk about it and wants him to go “the thing.” For a long time, he resists and continues to suffer.
We learn later that “the thing” is Al-Anon. Carmy continues to suppress his emotions, and they all come out sideways. He finally goes to an Al-Anon meeting but just sits silently in the back. Then, the breakthrough comes. His 7-minute share is everything. Every emotion he had been stuffing down for so long finally comes out in a heart-wrenching, brutally honest way. But this remains a private moment. Carmy does not share that he has been going to “the thing.” He does not share these emotions with anyone. However, his relationships with his employees and family improve. He becomes softer and lighter in a sense. At one point, it seems his sister has completely given up on him. They are fighting, and Sugar seems to be losing hope. When faced with this reality, Carmy reveals he has been going to “the thing.” Obviously, Sugar only wants him to be well; this is all she needs to hear to move forward with him. It’s a truly joyful moment.
Carmy’s “Monologue” is an Impactful Al-Anon Share
Jeremy Allen White does an incredible job with the role of Carmy and, in my opinion, deserves all the incoming accolades. The portrayal of Al-Anon in The Bear seems authentic and in line with the true spirit of the program. There is no pressure from Carmy’s sister about what happened there or what he shared. There was no focus on the fact that he went and did not share. We know from being in the rooms that it takes some people longer to open up or share their feelings. This is ok. We also know that Al-Anon can still significantly impact even those who are just there to listen. The Bear creates space for this. And we get the joy of seeing the “lights come on” in a long-awaited emotional breakthrough for Carmy. This is a perfect thing for him and all those around him.
Molly Ringwald is One of the Notable Guest Appearances
There is a significant amount of debate regarding the anonymity of the AA program and its members. However, AA and addiction are being covered much more frequently in media. But Al-Anon is rarely covered. The Bear is an example of how the program can help those dealing with the death of an addict. For this reason, I am all in on how Al-Anon shows up in The Bear. During one of the Al-Anon scenes, we see a share from the meeting chairman about being a victim of abuse and seeing her part. This is sensitive material, but I think The Bear gets it right. Molly Ringwald played the Al-Anon meeting chairman. I have watched The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles over sixteen times each. But she was so convincing in the role that I did not notice it was her until I read it later. FX insisted that the names of the guest stars remain hidden. Molly Ringwald’s name does not even appear on the cast list. This could be perceived as a nod to anonymity. And I think this is really cool.
It is gratifying to see Carmy’s journey with Al-Anon. He only went to the meeting because his sister asked him to go. But he stayed, kept going back, and finally shared his true feelings because it worked for him. So many people are dealing with trauma from tough losses or unimaginable events related to addiction and do not know where to turn for help. It is encouraging to see this example of Al-Anon portrayed on such a widely viewed medium in Hulu’s highly promoted, heavily hyped, surprise hit. The Al-Anon program is all about giving people hope and showing them that there is a solution. If this example can lead even one person to Al-Anon for help or provide encouragement to someone suffering from addiction, then risking being on the wrong side of the anonymity debate may be worth it.
Season 1 is the perfect setup for what is to come. It wraps up with Carmy’s breakthrough share and him revealing to his sister that he was finally getting help in coping with his brother’s death. He has won the loyalty of his staff and seems to be back on track for success. He even has plans to open a new restaurant of his own. This is an example of the change that can occur with the hope one receives from Al-Anon. I’d be satisfied with this happy ending. But I’m thrilled to share that there is more!
If you are looking for other entertainment recommendations for movies, music, TV shows, and podcasts addressing addictions, The Sober Curator has you covered! Check out Movie Night With The Sober Curator, The Mindful Binge, Recovery Podcastland, and Play It Again.
THE MINDFUL BINGE: Season 2 of Stigma Smashing Hit “The Bear” Continues to Focus on Al-Anon and Delivers the Fun in Dysfunction with Stellar Cameo Performances and a Killer Soundtrack
THE MINDFUL BINGE: Season 3 of The Bear Goes Deep Revealing More About Family, Feelings, and Fallout from Addiction and Then Stops Short
Resources Are Available
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