💖 A New Kind of Board Game: Where Recovery Meets Real Life
Move over, Monopoly — there’s a new game in town, and it comes with rhinestones, iced coffee, and emotional intelligence.
ICYMI, I recently wrote about some upcycled Monopoly canvas wall art pieces I scored at HomeGoods (because of course I did — I can quit whiskey, but not throw pillows). While researching how many themed versions of Monopoly exist (over 3,500 in case you were wondering) — from Star Wars to Golden Girls — I had a lightbulb moment: What would a Sober Curator version look like?
Cue me losing half my Sunday going down a glittery rabbit hole of ideas, names, and Canva artboards. Not only am I #SoberNotBoring — I’m also #SoberAndNerdy. Honestly, it’s shocking I’m still single. SHOCKING.
Thus, The Sober Curator Soberopoly™ was born — a game that swaps greed for growth, vodka for vulnerability, and hotels for healing. Think less Park Place, more Meditation Space.
You don’t win by bankrupting your friends.
You win by staying emotionally solvent and spiritually sparkly.
💬 “Because the only thing we’re collecting here is peace — and maybe a few crystals and milestone coins.”
💸 Serenity Tokens: The Currency of Calm
Forget money. Forget chips or coins. In Soberopoly™, you’re chasing serenity, not status. Each Serenity Token represents a little victory in the game of recovery and adulting — because emotional maturity doesn’t come cheap, babe.
$1
One Day (or Dollar) at a Time, progress, not perfection, friends.
$5
Boundary Bitcoin – NO is a complete sentence.
$10
Emotional Equity – Investing in peace.
$20
Clarity Credits – Your amends are in order.
$50
Gratitude Grants – Abundance mindset, baby.
$100
Serenity Stacks – You didn’t spiral, celebrate the win!
$500
Recovery Riches – the promises are coming true!
These are the kind of bills you’ll actually feel good about stacking (and no, they can’t be exchanged for LaCroix — we checked).
🏡 Property Sets: Where Growth Meets Glitter
Each color group represents a different pillar of sober living — part truth, part parody, and all sass. Instead of building houses, you’re building healthy coping mechanisms. Instead of hotels, you’re upgrading to serenity sanctuaries.
🤎 Brown Properties – Rock Bottom Row
Rehab – See you in 28 days (longer if you’re chatty).
Emotional Support Couch – Because early sobriety is hard (and so is pretending to like herbal tea).
💙 Light Blue Properties – Sober Lifestyle Lane
#ADDTOCART Sober Merch & Bottle Shop – Grab a hoodie and a sparkling water, because you sober now (and your new vice is online shopping).
NA Beers & 90s Bar – Sober Curator Justin Lamb has curated over 125+ NA craft beers so you can party sober and wake up regret-free.
Happy Every Hour Bar – Curated by Ashley Sunderland and Kim Parsley — the queens of NA wines, spirits, and RTDs — keeping you sipping in style.
Collect extra tokens every time someone says, “Wait… this is alcohol-free?”
💅 Pink Properties – Selfie-Care City
Bubble Bath Blvd. – Because hygiene and a time-out are always in order.
Nap Nook – Feeling overwhelmed? A nap will always help (and it counts as meditation until you fall asleep.)
Sugar & Snack Shack – Treat yourself! Want to know what our contributors are snacking on? Read all about it HERE.
🧡 Orange Properties – Feel Your Feelings Village
Therapy Walk – Talk while you walk — it’s cheaper than another meltdown.
Gratitude Gardens – A space full of plants and puppies to be your emotional support sidekicks (bring treats).
Boundary Blvd. – Home of Dr. Sarah Michaud & Finn Allen, where they’ll show you Leaving CrazyTown and help you uncover the codependency traits that are no longer serving you.
❤️ Red Properties – Long Term Recovery Roads
Walk Your Talk House of Recovery – For the discerning sober fashionista.
House of Sober Curator Apparel – Shop for looks that let you recover out loud without ever saying a word.
Spiritual Gangster Villas – A place to explore your spirituality through soberscopes, yoga, stoicism, science, wonder, the Celtic calendar, and Jesus.
💛 Yellow Properties – Leveling Up Loop
Grace Place – There, but for the grace of God, go I (and possibly my therapist).
Acceptance Alley – Make sure to check out the cool street art + graffiti.
Meditation Meadows – Be where your feet are (unless your cat’s on your yoga mat again).
Upgrade with “Aha Moments” to double your rewards. Bonus if you cried and journaled about it.
💚 Green Properties – Arts & Entertainment District
Recovery Podcastland – Sober stories to connect with.
The Mindful Binge Lounge – TV + movie reviews through the lens of addiction, recovery, and mental health.
The Sober Curator #QUITLIT Library – Because every sober curator should be well-read. Full of memoirs, addiction fiction, self-help, and NA recipe books (don’t dog-ear the pages, please).
🖤 Royal Blue Properties – Pop Culture Park
HomeGoods Haven – Because you can’t fix your life, but you can fix your living room.
Sober Curator HQ – Welcome to the community! We’re so glad you’re here.
Luxury properties for those who sparkle responsibly. #becausedrunkneverlooksgood
💬 “It’s not about getting rich — it’s about getting real.”
🚗 Choose Your Higher Power Token
Who you are on the board says everything about who you are in life.
☕ Coffee Cup – Fueled by caffeine and intention.
💎 Crystal – Attracts abundance and dramatic lighting.
📔 Journal – Where your therapist’s best work lives.
🧘 Yoga Mat – Flexible, literally and emotionally (depending on caffeine intake).
🛍️ HomeGoods Bag(gage) – True symbol of hope and chaos. You know you have baggage, and you’re not afraid to show it with flair.
🎤 Microphone – For when you overshare beautifully.
📖 Big Book – For the 12-Stepper who lives the principles in all their affairs.
📱 iPhone – For the connection-seeker (because the opposite of addiction is connection).
🚗 Car – Get in, loser. We’re going to a meeting.
🃏 Life Happens: Chance & Pay It Forward
In the game of recovery, sometimes the Universe tests you — and sometimes your fellowship saves you. Both decks bring a mix of wit, wisdom, and a little cosmic side-eye.
💌 Pay It Forward Cards – Penalty Edition (Go to Group)
- You offered unsolicited advice in a meeting. Go directly to Group. Practice active listening this time.
- You told someone “I’m fine” when you were not fine. Go to Group. The truth shall set you (emotionally) free.
- You compared your recovery to someone else’s IG highlight reel. Go to Group. Comparison is the thief of serenity.
- You skipped therapy because you were “too busy healing.” Go directly to Group. No detours through Denial Drive.
- You texted your ex “just to check in.” Go to Group. You know exactly what you did.
- You agreed to something you didn’t want to do. Go to Group. Then practice saying “no” in front of a mirror three times.
- You started a new hobby, posted about it once, and never did it again. Go to Group. Bring your unfinished crochet project for show and tell. Then go to CURATED CRAFTS and look for another craft to start.
- You gave someone the silent treatment instead of communicating. Go to Group. Use your words and your coping skills.
- You said, “I don’t need a meeting this week.” Go to Group. Irony bonus points.
- You emotionally shopped at HomeGoods again. Go directly to Group. Do not pass the Clearance Section.
- You tried to control other people’s feelings. Go to Boundary Blvd. The only person you can manage is yourself, darling.
- You doom-scrolled on TikTok instead of meditating. Stop. Breathe, do not scroll.
- You forgot your gratitude list three days in a row. Go to Journal Junction. Say three nice things about today out loud. Do it NOW.
- You told your sponsor “I got this” — and promptly did not got this. Go to Group. Collect one humility token.
- You romanticized your old drinking days for nostalgia points. Go to Journal Junction. Rewrite that memory with your current wisdom filter on.
💎 Pay It Forward Cards – Bonus Edition (Go to Group and Win Anyway)
- You made amends without expecting anything in return. Go to Group. Take a $50 Gratitude Grant and an inner peace bonus. High five yourself.
- You supported a newcomer without turning it into a TED Talk. Go to Group. Collect $100 in Serenity Stacks.
- You admitted you were wrong — before being asked. Go to Group. Receive a $20 Clarity Credit and your sponsor’s proud smile.
- You shared your story and it helped someone else feel seen. Go to Group. Take a $100 Serenity Stack and a round of applause.
- You brought snacks and tissues to Group. Collect $50 Gratitude Grant and a lifetime of good karma.
🔮 The Card Divo Presents: Chance Cards
(“The Universe Is Testing You — Again.”)
💫 Penalty Edition — The Universe Has Notes
- The Moon (Reversed): You caught feelings and ignored red flags.
Go directly to Group. Intuition said “no,” but you said “maybe.” - The Tower: You lost your cool at a coffee shop when they were out of oat milk.
Go to the nearest coffee shop. Breathe before you brew. - The Lovers (In Retrograde): You swore you were “just friends” … again.
Go to the Journal Junction. Write out your sex inventory and think about your behaviors. - The Hermit (With Wi-Fi): You called isolation “self-care.”
Go to Candlelight Co. Human connection is the new enlightenment. - The Devil (of Denial): You justified your behavior with “at least I’m not drinking.”
Go directly to Therapist Rate Increase. Sobriety ≠ sainthood. - The Fool (But Make It Relatable): You tried to heal someone else to avoid healing yourself.
Go to Group and sit in codependency corner. - Temperance (Optional): You said “moderation” out loud and scared your sponsor.
Go to Group. Balance is progress, not permission. - Wheel of Fortune: You thought manifesting meant buying scratch tickets.
Go to Group. Visualization works better than gambling. - The Hanged (Out) Man: You went back to your old crowd “just to say hi.”
Go to Group. Redeem your serenity immediately. - Justice: You subtweeted your ex under the guise of “art.”
Go directly to Boundary Blvd. If owned, pay owner double the rent. - The Star (Dimmed): You skipped journaling but posted inspirational quotes.
Go to Journal Junction. Authenticity only, darling. - Death (Rebirth Pending): You’re transforming… but forgot to rest.
Go to the Nap Nook. Growth still counts when you nap. - The Magician (Missing Tools): You tried to manifest a relationship instead of cleaning your kitchen.
Go to the You Bought Too Many Crystals Tax and think about your choices. - Judgment: HEY JUDGE JUDY! You judged someone else’s recovery path.
Go to Group. Collect humility and self-awareness. - Strength (Reversed): You overcommitted to prove your worth.
Go to the Emotional Support Couch. Rest is resistance, too.
🌟 Bonus Edition — Cosmic Rewards
- The Sun: You radiated pure joy today — someone even noticed.
Go to Alcohol Free. Collect $100 in Gratitude Grants and keep glowing. - The High Priestess: You trusted your gut and it paid off.
Go to Group. Collect a Serenity Stack and brag to your intuition. - The Empress: You nurtured others and yourself.
Go to Group. Take $50 in Emotional Equity and a self-care nap. - The World: You completed a full cycle of growth (and laundry).
Go to Alcohol Free. Collect an alcohol-free cocktail, a Clarity Credit, and your crown. 👑 - The Hierophant: You shared your experience and it helped someone start theirs.
Go to GO! Take BONUS $200 in Emotional Currency and a standing ovation.
“Because sometimes the Universe whispers, and sometimes it smacks you with a glittery tarot card that says, ‘Go to Group.’” ✨
🚓 Other Spaces on the Board
GO → Collect $200 in serenity and iced coffee (venti, obviously).
Group → Sit with your feelings for one turn. Reflect. Hydrate. Repeat.
Alcohol Free → Sit back and sip on a tasty NA beverage of choice.
Luxury Tax → You bought too many crystals. Pay $75 in reality checks.
Income Tax → Therapist* rate increase. Sigh. Pay 10% or $200 and call it “self-care.” (*Does not except insurance)
☕ Utilities + Coffee Shops
Who needs railroads when you have caffeine and connection?
Pink Cloud Coffee House Drive-Thru
Boundary Beans Coffee House
SereniTea & Coffee Shop
The Sober Sip Shop (Psst — get on their email newsletter!)
Candlelight Co. – You’re no longer burning the midnight oil at the bar, but you are burning a questionable number of candles.
Journal Junction – Gratitude lists, morning pages, inventories, and musings galore.
🏁 Winning the Sober Game
Forget net worth — this is about emotional wealth.
The winner is whoever finishes with the highest combo of Serenity Tokens + Self-Awareness Points.
If it’s a tie? The crown goes to whoever’s rhinestones sparkle brightest under a ring light.
💬 “It’s not who finishes first — it’s who finishes with grace, gratitude, and great lighting.”
🪩 Secret Soberopoly™ Rules (a.k.a. The Fine Print)
- Crying counts as cardio.
- You must hydrate after all emotional breakthroughs.
- If you say “I’m fine” three times, you automatically go to Group.
- Rolling doubles means you overshared — skip your next turn and nap it off.
- If someone crosses your boundaries, collect $50 and a power stance.
💖 Bonus Round: What’s Your Token?
So, which Soberopoly token are you?
The over-caffeinated Coffee Cup? The emotionally available Yoga Mat? Or the HomeGoods Bag(gage) — filled with intention and throw pillows you didn’t need but definitely deserved?
Tell us in the comments or tag us on Instagram @thesobercurator — we’re keeping score.
🎤 Final Mic-Drop Moment
Soberopoly™ isn’t just a parody — it’s a glitter-covered love letter to recovery, resilience, and the weirdly joyful art of living sober out loud. Because in this version of Monopoly, nobody loses their shirt — they just wash it, fold it, and journal about the experience.
“May your Serenity Stacks be thick, your Gratitude Grants be plentiful, and may your present day sober moments forever be in your favor.”
AB *that’s me
CURATED CRAFTS: 💎 Rhinestones, Real Estate, and Ridiculous Obsession: My Bedazzled Monopoly Saga 💎
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We’re here to shatter the “sobriety is boring” myth with a mash-up of 80s neon, 90s hip-hop edge, early 2000s bling, and today’s hottest trends. From celebrity shoutouts to red-carpet style inspo, this is where sober is as chic as it is fun. To the celebs using their platform for good—our Sober Pop Trucker hats are off to you!
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
